Teachable Moments
Saturday, October 19, 2013
"Service Motivated by Love"
This is a reflection submitted by a third-year teacher...who gets "it"....
If you understand his musings...you will "get it" too.......
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"Teaching As A Selfless Service..
A student was detained last Friday for mild defiance. Student would always appear unmotivated, and cared less about class expectations and policies. During what was meant to be a 15 minutes detention, student ended up speaking with adult for about two hours. It was as if she has never been listened to before. She wanted to talk about everything. And the details came out of her mind and soul effortlessly.
According to student, she lives with 39 people in a 9 bedroom house owned by her grandmother (Not sure if that’s true or possible). The 39 people included aunties, uncles, siblings and strangers who help pay the mortgage to the house.
Clothes and dishes are washed outside. Student has been living in that condition since she was three years old. She dislikes the condition and the step father her mother is married to. Because of all that, student prefers hanging outside with “hommies”. Student has been cited many times by the police for ditching school; has been exposed to drugs and attempted suicide three weeks ago. Student is now in some intervention program and being counseled weekly; and given medication to alleviate the urge for taking drugs. Student unconsciously uses street language a lot and shows some attitude that may be off-putting to adults in school. After listening for about 2 hours, adult concluded that student had a lot of strength in her character for showing up every day to school. Student was positively re-enforced and a min-contract was drawn so she could check in with adult whenever she needed to. Both adult and student were touched in a different way after that encounter.
After listening to this story, I did some reflection on teaching, service, material quest and life. I did ask myself; “What will be the best possible way to render meaningful help as quickly as possible to such individual? I ended up acquiring the except below;
Some would say that service should be given without any spiritual beliefs, that it is only possible to help others through material contributions of various kinds: food, medicine, housing and so on. Some politicians, who believe this, want religious spokesmen restricted to the area of personal morality alone.
But the true morality in these days is not so much how you lead your private life, although that is important, but rather, how much you are contributing to the benefit of the world as a whole. Material contributions are essential but they do not get to the root of the problem, and so they do not bring lasting change.
You can feed a person through money but you cannot get rid of greed with money and so you cannot get rid of poverty.
You can, if you are financially powerful enough, even influence the outcome of a particular war, but you cannot remove hate and so wars will recur. Only one force will remove and transmute these negative energies and emotions, and that is SERVICE MOTIVATED BY LOVE. Then, will you send the spiritual energy that is needed at the root of the problem.
If you wish to help a sick person who is dying of a heart condition, but refuses to give up smoking, follows an unhealthy diet and completely refuse to take any physical exercise, you can give him the most expensive treatment on earth, but he will sooner or later deteriorate again. If you however inspire that person to change their lifestyle; to have a more positive approach to themselves and their condition, and to be so concerned about others that they want to become fitter and more active, then you may help them to remove the sickness permanently and completely.
In a sense humanity is like that sick person. Material help is essential in war-torn, disease-ridden, poverty-stricken areas, but ultimately, the whole problem will be solved when the consciousness of humanity changes. Even the prophesies will be changed for the better.
The only lasting way to change that consciousness is to transmute the greed, hate and selfishness with an outpouring of spiritual energy conditioned by love.
Teachers, this is exactly what you do every day; getting to the root of problems by giving the right kind of knowledge timely and wisely.
May the Divine Creative Principle continue to guide, strengthen, and inspire you. And by the way, may your formal observations be smooth and hassle free.
Thank you,
Titus Ume-ezeoke
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Tell-Tale Signs of a Mass Killer
There have been several massive killings in the past: Columbine High School-12 students and 1 teacher were killed; Dec. 14, 2012: 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children and six adult staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. Earlier, he had killed his mother Nancy at their Newtown home.
Dec. 11, 2012: 22-year-old Jacob Tyler Roberts killed two people and himself with a stolen rifle in Clackamas Town Center, Oregon. His motive is unknown.
Sept. 27, 2012: Five were shot to death by 36-year-old Andrew Engeldinger at Accent Signage Systems in Minneapolis, Minn. Engeldinger ended up killing himself in the rampage over losing his job.
Aug. 5, 2012: Six Sikh temple members were killed when 40-year-old Army veteran Wade Michael Page opened fire in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. Page killed himself as cops moved in.
July 20, 2012: During the midnight premiere of “The Dark Knight Rises” in Aurora, Colo., 24-year-old James Holmes killed 12 people and wounded 58.
Now we have to brace ourselves for yet another tragedy at the Naval Yard in Washington, DC, in which Aaron Alexis violently took the lives of twelve innocent people.
I think we need to look a little deeper....Most people who go on these shooting sprees "tell" on themselves in one way or the other...conversations, emails, journals/diaries, internet posts, mood changes, behavior changes, purchasing changes, routine changes...
As educators, parents and community members, we must pay attention to "distress signals" in the home, at school, on the playground, at church, etc. When investigators dig deeper into the lives of these mass killers, there are usually tell-tale signs that were overlooked.
Monday, September 02, 2013
Freaky Friday
I love the movie, Freaky Friday, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan. It basically depicts a mother and daughter who had to change roles...the daughter became a working mom and the mother became a high school student.
That said, I think adults need to all be sensitive to the challenges our children face each and every day. For some students, school has already begun. For other students, Labor Day marks the close of summer vacation and students stepping across the threshold of a brand new school year! Certainly, it's a very exciting time for thousands of children across the country!
Soon, I will have my third book published, "Recipe for Great Parenting".
In the meantime, here are some quick tips for children of all ages:
-They need to have breakfast each morning to jump start their metabolism and get their minds and bodies ready for learning.
-How they look is very important to them, so be attentive and sensitive to their clothes, shoes, backpacks, hairstyles, and other accessories.
-Avoid spending too much money on school supplies until they get to school and the teacher(s) shares the required items needed for each class or subject.
-Make arrangements for lunch i.e. Meal card, sack lunch or lunch money. Many teenagers, especially, don't eat all day!
-Everyday, ask your children about their day! Help them to work through challenges, celebrate their successes and plan for the next day.
-Praise your children for their accomplishments and avoid "put-downs" for their shortcomings.
-Set aside study time and location to complete their school work.
-Make sure that excessive television, play station, social networking etc. does not inhibit good study habits.
-Attend their school events and extra-curricular activities
-If you pray, then pray with them everyday!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
A New Phase In Life
It has been awhile since I posted a message on my blog...forgive me for the delay...
I realize that I am moving to a new phase in my life. Both my daughters graduated
in June. The eldest daughter graduated with a BA degree in Fashion Design. My youngest
daughter graduated from high school and she is now headed to college.
I appreciate the "Village"...all of those family, friends, teachers, administrators,
counselors,health care professionals, community and church leaders...everyone..really...
my children are successful because of the role each of you have played in their lives.
Remember...everyone...that you can positively impact the lives of children..whether your
own, or other children through your employment, church/civic, or just the encounters you
may have in your everyday routines-grocery store, bank, post office, cleaners...anywhere!
Believe in the BEST of our children...they need us to believe in them...our children
come to us with talents, skills, abilities and gifts!!! Be a beacon light for them!
Monday, June 17, 2013
"A Rollercoaster Ride"
Raising children has got to be one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences in my lifetime.
I liken it to a roller coaster ride...one minute they are up...the next minute they are down...one
minute they are happy...the next minute they are sad...one minute they are doing well in school...the
next minute they hate a teacher or subject...one minute they have a friend...the next minute they
consider that same person their arch enemy....
I had the pleasure of TWO daughters graduating this year...one from high school and the other from
college...
A senior in high school is absolutely a roller coaster ride...champagne party, senior prom, after prom,
senior ring, yearbook, picnic, grad nite, announcements, yearbook...It's enough to drive
a sane parent C-R-A-Z-Y!!!
The college daughter had senior exams, announcements, portfolio and so much more...
It felt like I was on a roller coaster ride!!!!! I don't know who was happier....the girls for
their achievements or me that this part of their lives had finally arrived!
The reality is that all children do go through their ups and downs. My advice to anyone who has an
impact or influence on the lives of children is to HANG IN THERE!
Even a roller coaster ride eventually comes to an end. Enjoy it while you can..they do grow up!
Monday, June 03, 2013
"Mistaken Identity"
I don't know if I have an "international" look..
An Ethiopian woman greeted me in her native language...
A Latino gentleman flirted with me (I could tell from his body language) in Spanish...
A Samoan woman commented on the flower in my hair and asked if I were from Hawaii...
As I pondered these separate encounters, it dawned on me that we are not that different
from one another. I'm sure that I am not the only one who has been mistaken for another
person, another race, another culture...
When we are working with children...administrators, educators, parents, social workers,
counselors and other related professionals, please be sure to honor the rich culture and
history they bring to the home, school, and community!
There's no mistaken identity because each adult will celebrate the unique qualities
of each child! Ask children about their background, their customs and traditions.
It supports each child's self-esteem and confidence in their contribution to the world!!!!!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Memorial Day...A Time To Remember...For All Americans!
Memorial Day is a time to remember....
It is more than a day off from work and school...
More than a fun day to picnic, hang out with family or bar-be-que...
Wikipedia describes the history of Memorial Day s follows:
The practice of decorating soldiers' graves with flowers is an ancient custom. Soldiers' graves were decorated in the U.S. before and during the American Civil War. A claim was made in 1906 that the first Civil War soldier's grave ever decorated was in Warrenton, Virginia on June 3, 1861, implying the first Memorial Day occurred there. There is authentic documentation that women in Savannah, Georgia decorated soldiers' graves in 1862.In 1863, the cemetery dedication at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania was a ceremony of commemoration at the graves of dead soldiers. Local historians in Boalsburg, PA, claim that ladies there decorated soldiers' graves on July 4, 1864.As a result, Boalsburg promotes itself as the birthplace of Memorial Day.
Following President Abraham Lincoln's assassination in April 1865, there were a variety of events of commemoration. The first well-known observance of a Memorial Day-type observance after the Civil War was in Charleston, South Carolina on May 1, 1865. During the war, Union soldiers who were prisoners of war had been held at the Charleston Race Course; at least 257 Union prisoners died there and were hastily buried in unmarked graves. Together with teachers and missionaries, black residents of Charleston organized a May Day ceremony in 1865, which was covered by the New York Tribune and other national papers. The freedmen cleaned up and landscaped the burial ground, building an enclosure and an arch labeled, "Martyrs of the Race Course." Nearly ten thousand people, mostly freedmen, gathered on May 1 to commemorate the war dead. Involved were about 3,000 school children newly enrolled in freedmen's schools, mutual aid societies, Union troops, black ministers, and white northern missionaries. Most brought flowers to lay on the burial field. Today the site is used as Hampton Park. Years later, the celebration would come to be called the "First Decoration Day" in the North.
What I didn't realize is that African Americans were an integral part of the events leading up to the legalization of Memorial Day in becoming an official holiday.
If you work with children of color, please find ways to include them in the positive aspects of the community, the society...and the world! It could make all the difference in their self-esteem, goal-setting and future aspirations! They will make a difference in others' lives when you make a difference in their lives!