Teachable Moments
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Are You My Mother?
P.D. Eastman wrote a delightful Cat-in-the-Hat book entitled "Are You My Mother?" that tells the story of a baby bird who gets lost and spends a lot of time trying to find his way back to his mother.
Most mothers honor and cherish their ability to have a nurturing role in the lives of their children.
Most children enjoy a nurtured, supportive and protective relationship with their mothers.
There are thousands of children, however, who do not have a positive relationship with their mothers or they do not live in the same home with their mothers at all.
A growing number of children are living outside of the home either with aunts or uncles, grandparents, foster or group homes.
These living situations can have a powerful impact on children's ability to focus on their schoolwork, engage in positive relationships and problem solve their daily challenges.
A student was sent to my office with a note from the teacher with the common word "disruptive" to justify the student being asked to leave the classroom. Certainly "disruptive" is a subjective word, but clearly enough for the teacher to want the class to remain focused and remove the child who is causing havoc in the classroom.
Clearly, there are always reasons why children are "disruptive". This does not justify their behavior, but as educators, we must slow down long enough to get at the essence of why a child is "acting out". I asked this particular child to take a piece of paper and simply write what was on her mind and what was causing her to find it difficult to settle down and get her work done.
To my dismay, she began the writing with "Are You My Mother?" She knew she had a mother, but she did not know her mother. She wrote of longing for a hug, a soft touch, a smile or a kind word. She spoke of not knowing if her mom really loved her and why her mother did not come to "rescue" her from her sadness and despair.
My charge to every educator is to look beyond the outward behavior of a child, especially if the behavior is disruptive and repetitive. Generally, this behavior is saying to all of us, "Hey everyone, something is not settled with me!"
Let's listen to our students. Negative reactions to these students will not generate positive behaviors. Instead, find time to talk with your students, celebrate what they are doing right, and seek out the assistance of the support staff available on your campus or in your District.
As educators, you may be the most nurturing person they encounter in their day!
Most mothers honor and cherish their ability to have a nurturing role in the lives of their children.
Most children enjoy a nurtured, supportive and protective relationship with their mothers.
There are thousands of children, however, who do not have a positive relationship with their mothers or they do not live in the same home with their mothers at all.
A growing number of children are living outside of the home either with aunts or uncles, grandparents, foster or group homes.
These living situations can have a powerful impact on children's ability to focus on their schoolwork, engage in positive relationships and problem solve their daily challenges.
A student was sent to my office with a note from the teacher with the common word "disruptive" to justify the student being asked to leave the classroom. Certainly "disruptive" is a subjective word, but clearly enough for the teacher to want the class to remain focused and remove the child who is causing havoc in the classroom.
Clearly, there are always reasons why children are "disruptive". This does not justify their behavior, but as educators, we must slow down long enough to get at the essence of why a child is "acting out". I asked this particular child to take a piece of paper and simply write what was on her mind and what was causing her to find it difficult to settle down and get her work done.
To my dismay, she began the writing with "Are You My Mother?" She knew she had a mother, but she did not know her mother. She wrote of longing for a hug, a soft touch, a smile or a kind word. She spoke of not knowing if her mom really loved her and why her mother did not come to "rescue" her from her sadness and despair.
My charge to every educator is to look beyond the outward behavior of a child, especially if the behavior is disruptive and repetitive. Generally, this behavior is saying to all of us, "Hey everyone, something is not settled with me!"
Let's listen to our students. Negative reactions to these students will not generate positive behaviors. Instead, find time to talk with your students, celebrate what they are doing right, and seek out the assistance of the support staff available on your campus or in your District.
As educators, you may be the most nurturing person they encounter in their day!